SHE SAID: MESS-LESS GUEST LIST

By Jolene Jang ~ Guest Blogger

Do you have a master guest list you will be using for the bachelor and bachelorette parties, bridal shower, and the wedding? Most likely your parents have their friends they want to invite. Your in-laws have their people and the contacts for relatives you have never heard of. To get all these names, emails and addresses into an effective spreadsheet, you have a few options.

Your choices are to have the parties do the following:

• Dictate their contacts info to you and you input them into a doc
  


• Send you a hard copy and you input them into a doc
  


• Fill out an excel sheet and email to you and you copy and paste
  

Who has time for this? The excel option is a good option, except for only one person can update the master list at a time or you can do separate sheets and copy and paste them into the master. If you have three or more people to collaborate this is confusing and timely. We haven’t heard from Aunt Gertrude in thirty six years, but Uncle Bud twice removed may know her last house, but Uncle Bud is in on an RV trip and he doesn’t have a cell phone. You see what I am saying. All this time, you are waiting for the guest list to return to you. Or they email you back and forth with the latest updates to the list.

Duplicates, triplicates, quadruplicates? It can be confusing and frustrating. Emailing documents back in and forth can be sloppy and lots of room for error.
Here is a free, easy and visual solution to create the “Mess-less Guest List.” This document sharing tool keeps everyone up to date with the latest version. Zoho.com is the answer. We tried google.docs for a while, but zoho is more user -friendly and has much more utility.

Here is a video on how to sign up for an account and get started. You can also follow the steps below.

1. Sign up for a free account.
   
   
2. Name your project (I project is free).
   
   
3. Invite your users, for example, bride, groom, event planner, mother, father, in-laws, siblings, (the people who need to keep in touch with each other for the planning process.) They will get an email invitation to log in.
   
   
4. Add your milestones such as the actual events or deadlines, ie bridal shower, bachelorette party, send invitations, catering headcount deadline.
   
   
5. Add tasks to accomplish the goal, assign the task to a user and create a start and/or end date. An email will notify them of the task.
   
   
6. Schedule meetings related to your project. You can schedule other users.
   
   
7. Go to the documents tab. Upload your guest list. Click on the users to share this document with them. Request they make their edits online using the zoho editor, not downloading it. Everyone will have the latest changes.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

To see how you can setup meetings and share files watch the following video.



This is a great way to collaborate with your family and friends with clarity and accountability, eliminating all the duplicate documents. It’s time and stress reliever.

On a Budget? Try a Candy Buffet

Just because you are on a budget, doesn't mean you have to give up on having a completely awesome theme for your wedding. For a mid-afternoon wedding consider a candy buffet. Mmmmm....candy! Set up a bar with all your favorites and choose the candy that fits your color scheme and personality. All you need are clear glass jars and a trip to your local candy stores and you'll have a plethora of choices, colors, tastes and varieties that will have your guests on a sugar rush in no time at all.

If your wedding is in the fall, consider caramel covered apples, candy corn and sweets in shades of orange and yellow. If you are planning a winter wedding, pick up candy canes, cinnamon sticks, and red and white candies. If your wedding is in the spring, take advantage of the pastel candies that come out around Easter. And if you are planning a summer shindig, add a sno-cone bar with flavored ice as a special treat that is as tasty as it is thirst quenching.

Above all, be creative and be sure to brush your teeth after such an indulgence. Sweet dreams.

SHE SAID: TRADITIONAL VIETNAMESE WEDDING CEREMONY

By Jolene Jang ~ Guest Blogger

I had mentioned in earlier blogs that we will have three main wedding events. The first of these is the Vietnamese Ceremony. It starts with picking the appropriate date. A lot of factors go into this decision. The weather, budget, venue and vendors may be at the top of your list. If you are of traditional Asian descent, Chinese astrological reading trumps all. Based on my fiancé’s and my birthdates and time of birth, my future mother-in-law’s Chinese astrologer friend determined that March 20th is the optimal date for us to ensure the best possible outcome of our marriage. Unfortunately, this date falls on a Friday morning which is an inconvenient time for many; however, it’s a small price to pay for marital bliss.

A Vietnamese wedding is very different from a western wedding. To see Vinh’s cousin’s wedding in California, click on the video below:



Sorry there’s no dubbed or subtitled version at the moment so bear with the Vietnamese. We will also videotape ours to share with you.

Here is the sequence of events for the Vietnamese ceremony:

• Everyone wakes up really early and get into their attire. Here is a picture of Vinh and me in our traditional Vietnamese gowns.
  
  
  
  
• 7 am - groom’s relatives and close friends gather at groom’s family home which has been decorated with a special arbor before the entrance of the house and Chinese good-fortune charms.
  
  
• 8 am – groom’s crew caravan to bride’s family home to deliver the offerings for the bride and pay respects to the bride’s ancestors. There is a formal introduction of family members (In the old days, marriages were arranged. Sometimes, the bride and groom had never even met. The families may be total strangers) The bride’s parents formally agree to the union, wish the couple good fortune and share words of wisdom. They do the tea ceremony and then everyone drinks and eat. My mother, who isn’t Vietnamese, is a bit perplexed and nervous about her responsibilities, like what kind of tea to serve, what kind of snacks or hors d’ouevres?
  
  By the way, this is where Vinh’s family trades a roast pig for the bride. My father thinks this is a fair exchange; he’s really into that crispy skin and fatty meat that melts in your mouth. Other gifts are jewelry, tea, wine, fruits & pastries (i.e, sticky rice)
  
  
• 9 am - groom’s family takes bride with them to their home. Bride’s family follows. It is critical that all return to the home before the magical 10:30 time. More introductions are made of other family/friends awaiting their return. Respects are paid to the groom’s ancestors. Groom’s parents give permission to be called mother & father, share advice and words of wisdom about married life. Everyone enjoys tea & pastries.
  
• 1 pm - family and friends gather at O’Asian Restaurant to celebrate this momentous event with more eating and drinking.
  
  

I know what you are thinking. The proper attire for this event should be stretchy pants with all of the eating and drinking. And when they came up with this ceremonious tradition, they probably weren’t considering the environmental impact… all those cars driving back and forth. Can’t we just have everyone at the same place and do the introduction once? Well, there is a reason behind this slanted compulsion for repetition and driving. My mother-in-law said back in the day, girls don’t move out of the house until they are married; actually this is still true in Vietnam at present time. This ceremony signifies the transition of the bride into the groom’s family so you have to have the back and forth traveling. Also in Vietnam this event may draw a huge turnout, sometimes the whole neighborhood. Only a selected few have the privilege to travel with the respective wedding party. Otherwise just the introduction may run the entire day.

My mother-in-law reflected on her wedding day. It was exciting like a wedding celebration should be, yet there was a level of anxiety of leaving a familiar and safe place she always felt comfortable and free. Plus, she knew that after the celebration is over, the tough work begins because in joining the groom side you also take on the chores of the entire family (my father-in-law has 11 siblings); not fun when you are lowest on the totem pole.

The one tradition I’m glad to have is receiving the red envelopes. Usually, newlyweds are just starting out after marriage. Part of the ritual is buying a house and filling it with stuff. Well Vinh and I are ahead of the game. We’ve stocked up on more things than we should so I don’t think there’s anything on store registries that we would need or want. So getting red envelopes with money gives us more flexibility as to where we can apply the funds… like covering the wedding expenses or putting it towards the honeymoon.

Question of the day: When you are attending a wedding, what do you prefer to give money, registry item or a gift of your choice? On the other side, what would you like to receive as the bride and groom?

Get Inspired!: Sea Of Deep Red Something

We all know certain colors pair well with each other. Typically a bold shade is paired with a lighter counterpart. But in our opinion, the best colors are those you might actually think would clash. Sure, if you are looking in your closet in the morning you would never grab a teal cardigan to go over your red blouse. Or would you? The mismatch or match-made-in-heaven, depending on how you look at it, may very well be the key to your own wedding color inspiration. We say break the rules and start creating your own. Here is an inspiration board to get you thinking...

Theme: Sea Of Deep Red Something
Colors: Deep velvet red and rich teal


Top Row: Eco friendly gift tags from Renee Anne; Image by f7 Photography; Book cake via Kelly Oshiro Events; Image by Mel Barlow Photography
Second Row: Image by f7 Photography; Floral arrangement by Ravenna Bloom; Blushing Bloom necklace from Cool Beauty
Third Row: Gown by Paloma Blanca available at Princess Bride Couture Bridal Salon; Diamond Flourish invitation from Convier Designs; Magnolia painting from Z Gallerie
Bottom Row: Lyn Ashworth gown; Informal Wedding Invitations in deep teal; Solid red ties from Me and Metilda

He Said: Does The Government Intervene With Your Guest List?

Posted By Vinh Chung
~ Guest Blogger

My family, one of my father’s younger brother, and I escaped Vietnam backing 1979. The Indonesian government took us in and we hopped from one refugee camp to the next until we could get word to my aunt and uncle in Washington. They sponsored us over in February 1980 and we started a new beginning in a small town called Prossor. Since then all of my father’s family have been sponsored over; there were eleven children on my father’s side. My father has one more sibling, than my mother; she only had ten.

My mother, on the other hand, still has three brothers in Vietnam. So when we were working out our invitation list, we had tough decisions of who to invite. Sure, we would like to have all the relatives attend the Vietnamese ceremony, but we would have to charter a small plane for everyone. We decided to invite the eldest of the brothers who is still in Vietnam (along with his wife). I refer to him as Uncle 7. In Vietnam, you address your elders by numbers rather than their given names out of respect. The number is associated with the birth order of that individual, however; the first born is referenced as number two; number one is reserved for the father (in a male dominate society, the father is considered number one). So if I have an uncle who’s the sixth sibling in the family, I would call him, Uncle 7. His wife would take on his number so I call her, Aunt 7. Now, if the same aunt was the eldest in her family, and she had nieces and nephews, they would call her Aunt 2 and her husband Uncle 2. Kind of confusing isn’t it? I can see why it’s not adopted in other cultures. Don`t ask me for their actual names because I do not know them… just their numbers.

Well, when it came time to invite Uncle and Aunt 7, I learned there is a formal process to undertake. I thought my uncle and aunt could simply get a travel visa and book their reservations; like how it is for me to go to Vietnam. Nope. I guess both governments restrict travel of individuals from Vietnam to the US for only justifiable reasons and just vacationing is not one of them… but attending the wedding of a family member is. The requirements included:

• Proof of the wedding - A formal document stating wedding date and location.
• Invitation to the wedding - We had to make two versions of our invitations using Vietnamese character software to create the ones for our Vietnamese guests.
• Financial records from the hosts - In this case it would be my parents, since they are hosting my relatives. I guess the US government wants assurance we can afford to host our guests.
  
• Applicants’ financial records - Probably both governments want to make sure they have reasons (assets) to go back home to their country.

Those of you who are inviting guests from Vietnam or other developing countries, consider looking planning into this far in advance. We just received approval for Uncle and Aunt 7. They will be coming one week before the wedding and will stay for 3 months before returning home.

Speaking of out-of-town guests, way out-of-town, inviting dead guests is much easier. This may seem odd, but from my family`s Vietnamese Buddhist culture, our deceased are still part of the family. So in addition to getting the blessings from our parents, we also need to seek them from our ancestors.

Here is an example of an alter, however those found in the homes are not as elaborate.

Typically, there are pictures of those who passed away (grandparents and great grandparents). The marriage ritual involves asking them to welcome and look over the new members of the family. The nice thing about inviting the dead is, is we don`t have to pay per head. In fact it doesn’t take much to please them; just a pot of tea, a bowl of fruit and incense.

A Few Good (Young) Men

Sometimes it's all about the boys. So how do you dress a young man for a wedding? What you decide to have a young boy wear would be very much in alignment with the look and feel of your entire wedding. The most popular role a young boy has in the wedding is ringbearer. In England they refer to them as pageboys. Either way - formal or casual is something you will have to decide on. If your wedding is formal, check out the designs from BHS in London for some ideas on how to dress your mini-man. If your wedding is more casual, visit the online store for Hickey Freeman in New York.

Here are some of our favorites from both below.